so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
