found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It's official drugs can't kill me
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
