i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
