I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize