i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
