You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
vagina is talking i cant
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
