We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
