watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
