no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
