A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
