I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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