Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Randomize
