I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
