I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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