I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I want to fling myself into the sun
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
