I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
