It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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