woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize