Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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