My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize