i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
