I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
