I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
