I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
