i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
