a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
