What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
