remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Randomize
