HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
