Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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