She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
