coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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