At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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