I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
