I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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