Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
