Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
