fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I need moral support for this bender
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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