um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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