She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
