what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
