Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
