well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
