Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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