alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
