This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
