you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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