I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
