Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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