her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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