I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
