So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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