I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
