thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
