went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
