dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize