we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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