I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Randomize