That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
