No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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