I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
