im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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