i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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