This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
