I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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