My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
