wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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