i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
