OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Drunk is not a location!
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