im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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