well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
FUCK WHALES
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
