I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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